Allison wohl: a toast
WFS Retreat participant Allison Wohl celebrated a big win with us when the toast she wrote for her stepson’s wedding was selected for Kelly Corrigan’s podcast.
During the first week of March, nine women who were mostly strangers gathered in Jackson Hole, Wyoming for our first far west writer’s retreat. It was four days of journaling, reflecting, dreaming, laughing, crying and playing in over 450” of snow. It was a leap of faith for all of us who had never tried something like this before. This amazing group made me want to host many more writing retreats because there is nothing like the magic that happens in a creative community of women sharing stories. On our second night together, we celebrated one participant, Allison Wohl, who recently had a big win with her writing.
Many of you listen to Kelly Corrigan who WFS brought to Charlotte in October 2021. On Sundays, Kelly records a special podcast called, “Thanks for Being Here” where she reads the toasts and tributes that listeners have submitted about those they love. Kelly reads everything from eulogies to retirement speeches and on February 19th, she chose Allison’s toast written for her stepson Jake’s wedding to his bride also named Allison. Here is mother of the groom Allison Wohl’s toast—warning you may want to grab a Kleenex! Congratulations, Allison, on your family’s big wedding and on your beautiful words.
—Kathy
Read the Transcript Below or listen to Kelly corrigan read it here ________________________________________________________________________________________________________
A Wedding Toast by Allison Hassett Wohl
One aspect of Jake and Allison’s relationship that drew them together and that also grounds them is their shared commitment to the full humanity and the importance of honoring the dignity of the lives of people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. Both Jake and Allison had their own personal experiences that brought them to this place, and their paths converged at Bethesda Elementary School, where they were both educators—Allison as a teacher for profoundly disabled students and Jake as a general education teacher who happened to welcome, cherish and support students with all different kinds of challenges. Jake’s brother Julian was born when he was 16, and Jake never wavered in his steadfast commitment to learn everything he could about Down syndrome so that he could help Julian live a full and dignified life.
When Jake was a student at Whitman High School, he befriended a student with Down syndrome and always saw him as someone worthy of friendship when most students didn’t even see him. Jake went on to work at Camp PALS, which is a camp for young adults with Down syndrome. As an educator, he grew frustrated with the bureaucratic barriers to supporting his disabled students in the ways that he knew that they should be supported. Allison went on to become an employment coach for adults with disabilities, believing that, with the proper supports, her clients could not only could work but deserved to live lives of fulfillment and full participation. She’s now focused on disability policy and advocacy. Allison and Jake have also spent countless hours volunteering and advocating for people with disabilities. Following in the footsteps of his indomitable grandmother, Doris, Jake decided to pursue a law degree, like his Oma, out of frustration with the systems that exist to help marginalized Americans but that more often than not fail them. Jake has already interned at the Maryland Division of Civil Rights and the Department of Justice and works at the EEOC.
But what stands out to me about Jake and Allison is not just their commitment to Julian and to others like him but their simple acts of demonstrating every day that people like Julian belong. They do this by what one of my favorite thinkers and writers, Father Greg Boyle, refers to as “radical kinship”—the idea that no one should stand outside of the circle of belonging. Instead of writing a check or logging service hours, Jake and Allison treat people with intellectual disabilities as friends. This might seem like a simple thing, but true friendship is rare for those with these types of disabilities. And the most powerful thing you can do for someone is to reflect idea that they belong. Father Boyle talks about this idea as something beyond charity or service: he calls it mutuality. That we are not here to fix or be heroic by simply helping people in the margins. The idea that it’s not helpful to see ourselves as saving or even serving those at the margins; that the only way to stop seeing people as “other” is by standing with them as full humans and honoring their dignity. That by going to the margins and standing with people who our society so easily discards, the day will come when we stop discarding them. By moving ourselves closer to the margins, someday those margins will be erased.
In times of so much uncertainty and despair, Jake and Allison give me hope—not hope in a “close your eyes and wish for the best” sort of way but, as Vaclav Havel wrote, hope as an “orientation of the spirit, an orientation of the heart; an ability to work for something because it is good, not just because it stands a chance to succeed. Not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.”
I don’t know if there is anything that this broken world needs more than the kind of people that Jake and Allison are—and the way that they engage with the world every day. I wish you both the kind of hope that Havel described and the joy and love that you have brought to our lives. L’Chaim.
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Allison Wohl is a mom to two teenage boys, a stepmom to a young adult, and a wife to Alex. She is an advocate for the full inclusion of Americans with disabilities, a budding pickleball enthusiast, lover of words and people, and a public policy wonk. She lives in Bethesda, MD. Read more of her work on her blog http://thecrackedplanet.blogspot.com
Kathy Izard is the founder of Women | Faith & Story (www.womenfaithstory.com) and the award-winning author of three books. Her first memoir The Hundred Story Home released in 2016, received a Christopher Award for outstanding inspirational nonfiction. In 2019, she created a children’s book, A Good Night for Mr. Coleman with artist Evelyn Henson, encouraging kids to dream big and do good. Her new memoir, The Last Ordinary Hour, is now available in ebook, audiobook, and paperback through your favorite booksellers. Kathy’s work has been featured on NPR as well as the Today Show inspiring people to be changemakers in their communities. Learn more www.kathyizard.com.